BIOGRAPHY - page 2
Squirrel Girl had some trouble moving on from the Avengers, and secretly lived in the attic of Avengers Mansion for a while. She decided to become serious about her studies, though, and chose to reapply to Empire State University as a freshman in Computer Science, under her own name instead of as “Squirrel Girl.” Keeping a secret identity was new for Doreen, particularly when 
it came to things like not carrying all her moving boxes at once and not talking to squirrels in public. Still, she made a good impression on her new roommate Nancy Whitehead, she of the yarn posters, cat named Mew and Cat Thor fan fiction.
Squirrel Girl had her first fight on campus when she found Kraven the Hunter attacking Tippy-Toe. Doreen attacked Kraven to defend Tippy, but she soon realized there was no good reason for the brawl. She talked with Kraven and learned he was depressed because he was cursed to die only at Spider-Man’s hands and yet the web-slinger refused to kill him. Denied a worthy death against the greatest game of all, Kraven kicked a passing squirrel to vent his rage, starting the whole mess. Instead of fighting more, Squirrel Girl helped Kraven consider upping his game, now that he was an immortal hunter. Instead of causing more trouble for Spider-Man, she gave Kraven the idea to hunt leviathans of the deep that had previously been denied the hunt. (Squirrel Girl – punching criminals until they stop doing crime!) [Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (1st series) #1]
Doreen and Nancy were checking out college clubs when Doreen started chatting with Tomas Lara-Perez. Before Doreen could impress her new boy-crush, Tippy-Toe came to warn her that Squirrel Scouts manning observatories around the world had detected the arrival of Galactus’ Star Sphere, meaning the entire Earth was in danger. Doreen and Tippy snuck into Avengers Tower to borrow some of Tony’s Iron Man armor to fly to the moon and face Galactus. Unfortunately, the Iron Squirrel attracted attention from Iron Man’s rival, Whiplash. The Squirrel Scouts had to use Maneuver Chestnut Epsilon to become a living net and bind Whiplash to the ground. More distractions came up, and Squirrel Girl foiled a bank robbery where Nancy was a hostage by forming a suit of living squirrel armor to strike fear into the robbers’ hearts. Finally, though, the Iron Squirrel made her way to the moon to intercept Galactus.
Out in space, Squirrel Girl used the modular Iron Squirrel armor to draw Galactus’ attention to the moon. She squared up against Galactus and got the World Devourer to engage her in conversation. Galactus appreciated Doreen and Tippy speaking to him as a peer (Galactus 
speaks squirrel too, of course, for the Power Cosmic knows all), and agreed with them that Thanos was totally a tool. He was still prepared to eat the Earth, though, and so Squirrel Girl infiltrated the Star Sphere. Remembering that Galactus appears differently to all species based on their perceptions, Doreen reasoned that the same might apply to his Cosmic computers. Visualizing Galactus’ interface like a QWERTY keyboard, Doreen used her computer science skills to seek out a solution. Squirrel Girl recognized that Galactus kept coming back to Earth despite all his past defeats because the heroes of Earth always find him another planet to eat instead. Doreen did the same, and used Galactus’ computer to find an uninhabited world teeming with living energy… in the form of nuts. Satisfied, Galactus bid Earth and Squirrel Girl good-bye and good fortunes. [Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (1st series) #2-4]
Nancy had recognized Doreen at the bank, and Doreen began confiding in her roommate about her super-hero activities. They were staking out the bank for security when it was attacked by Hippo. The two were joined by more animal-themed heroes, Chipmunk Hunk and Koi Boi. Squirrel Girl sympathized with Hippo (being a sapient hippo evolved by the High Evolutionary with no formal education) and she talked him into finding productive work at a demolition company instead 
of robbing banks. While Doreen was savvy enough to reduce the super-villain population of Manhattan by one, it was Nancy who immediately recognized Tomas as Chipmunk Hunk, despite the domino mask that clearly covered his cheekbones. Tomas and his friend Ken Shiga became super-heroes together after discovering their abilities to talk to specific animals like Doreen. The four computer studies majors became fast friends as they got to know each other back at Nancy and Doreen’s dorm.
Nancy was feeling left out as the only member of the group who couldn’t talk to animals, but the optimistic Doreen figured that maybe Nancy just hadn’t met the species she was able to communicate with yet. At an unproductive but fun visit to the zoo, Nancy and Doreen witnessed the debut of a new hero named Girl Squirrel, a squirrel with the powers of a girl. Doreen was suspicious (and perhaps a little jealous) of this super-powered squirrel mysteriously appearing in their lives. Her fears proved justified when mobs started forming around the city as people became increasingly hostile towards one another. Wikipedia suggested to Nancy that Girl Squirrel might in fact be Ratatoskr, the mythological Norse squirrel of gossip and slander.
Squirrel Girl and her friends went looking for Thor at Avengers Tower, but found the other Avengers had already succumbed to Ratatoskr’s insidious provocation. After Doreen beat up the Avengers for being jerks, she tracked down the Odinson. Nancy joined the Odinson and the new Thor in journeying to Asgard to check on restoring Ratatoskr’s cage, while Squirrel Girl and her friends remained on Earth to quell the violence and find the evil squirrel. Doreen, Chipmunk Hunk and Koi Boi confronted Ratatoskr, but her god-tier smack talk turned the other squirrels and chipmunks against them, and eventually Tomas and Ken against Doreen as well. Nancy and the Thors returned from Asgard with earbuds to block our Ratatoskr’s voice, letting Squirrel Girl infuriate Ratatoskr by being immune to her control. In a truly surprising plot twist, Loki was 
responsible for Ratatoskr’s escape. He was amused by Nancy Whitehead’s Cat Thor fanfiction, though, and diverted Ratatoskr back to her cell via the Bifrost while Squirrel Girl distracted her with her antics. The day saved, Doreen retired back to her dorm room and began teaching her friends how to speak squirrel, so Tippy-Toe wasn’t always left out of the conversations. [Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (1st series) #6-8]
Doreen and Nancy were hanging out when Howard T. Duck tried to kidnap their cat Mew. Howard was a detective hired to find a missing cat named Biggs, and apparently had trouble differentiating between the hairless apes’ hairy proto-ape pets (his words). Squirrel Girl explained the misunderstanding and was prepared to help Howard find Biggs when Kraven showed up in the Kra-Van. The same woman who kidnapped Biggs also wanted Howard, and Kraven reluctantly fought with Doreen to capture his prey. It seemed hunting Gigantos cost money, so Kraven was forced to work as a mercenary in the meantime.
Doreen tracked Kraven and Howard to the mansion of his employer, Shannon Sugarbaker. The millionaire wanted to hunt the most dangerous game of all, man, but was willing to settle for the legal gray area of anthropomorphic animals. Doreen was caught off-guard by Sugarbaker’s arsenal of functional cosplay weapons, and forced to join the animals on the hunt. Kraven, too, refused to hunt his friend Squirrel Girl for Sugarbaker and was added to the prey. The hunted managed to turn the tables on the hunter, and all the animals and animal people were freed, including a cyborg Biggs. Kraven had another revelation after being forced into the role of prey, and he promised Squirrel Girl that in the future he would only hunt… hunters. [Animal House crossover]
Squirrel Girl was one of the more unconventional choices to join Roberto Dacosta’s team of New Avengers. Having assumed control of Advanced Idea Mechanics through a hostile takeover, Sunspot now held the reins of the former science-terrorists and intended to convince the world they could be a force for good. Redeeming villains was one of Doreen’s favorite strategies, but the forces of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the U.S. government were doubtful. A.I.M. was forced to accept an agreement never to operate on U.S. soil, maintaining Avengers Island out in the Pacific until S.H.I.E.L.D. was more comfortable believing “Avengers Idea Mechanics” were actually good guys. To commute between ESU and A.I.M.’s mobile island, Doreen was issued a teleport chamber for her home to quickly respond to team mission alerts. [Avengers #0, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2nd series) #1]
Doreen loved being a part of the Avengers, and made certain Tippy-Toe was also acknowledged as a full member of the team. Her exuberance and positive attitude made Squirrel Girl something of a mystery to her teammate, the grim and dedicated White Tiger. Still, Ava recognized Doreen’s combat effectiveness, despite their differences. Squirrel Girl and the New Avengers fought against a number of threats. W.H.I.S.P.E.R. unleashed Life-Minus, invading Paris from the afterlife, while 
the Kree-Skrull hybrid Knights of the Infinite brought them into conflict with Mor-i-Dun of the Fifth Cosmos and the Avengers of 20XX, who traveled back in time to stop the space wizard. Danielle Cage-Jones was the Captain America of 20XX, who still remembered Doreen as her favorite nanny of all time. [New Avengers (4th series) #1-6]
Back at Empire State University, Doreen and Nancy had moved into their own apartment away from the dorms before their sophomore year in Computer Sciences. Nancy even used her sowing abilities to make Doreen a new costume as Squirrel Girl. Doreen brought Nancy to meet her mother Maureen when she stopped by to visit. Maureen embarrassed Doreen with stories about how her tail got caught in things when she was younger. When they returned to their apartment, they discovered the Hydra super-villain named Brain Drain, a sentient brain in an alien robot body from the 1940’s, causing chaos. After Brain Drain was deactivated, Doreen and Nancy realized his robot parts were completely outdated, and they decided to fix him up. Once he reactivated, Brain Drain explained how the aliens who built his robot body also programmed it with the Hydra 
philosophy guide he had been carrying at the time. Literally programmed to behave as Hydra wanted, “Brian” was unable to grow or change for decades until his parts were replaced. Doreen and Nancy took pity on the maudlin, nihilistic, but otherwise affable Brian, and suggested he enroll in ESU as a Computer Sciences major like them, so he could fix up his own body next time it needed maintenance. [Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2nd series) #1]
One day, Doreen and Tippy woke up to find themselves in the 1960’s. Somehow, they had traveled back in time in the middle of the night to a point in history where their pending Computer Sciences degree had little weight. They managed to get a time capsule to Nancy and tried to walk 
a tight rope between fighting crime and causing irreconcilable temporal paradoxes. Over the next few days, Doreen met Mary and several other ESU CS majors, inexplicably trapped in the 60’s as well. Although they were all in the same year and should have been familiar with one another, none of the students remembered each other from before their individual trips backwards in time.
Nancy Whitehead soon arrived in the past with a time machine of her own, as well as a questionable choice in sidekicks… Doctor Doom. A past version of Doom had traveled into the present from shortly after his first Clear and Unequivocal Victory over Squirrel Girl, seeking future technology for the next time she… troubled him. Through dubious logic and flattery, Nancy agreed to lead Doom to Squirrel Girl (in the past) if he pledged to bring her back to her own time. Doctor Doom agreed and brought Nancy to the 1960’s where Doreen was meeting with the other ESU students. Doom attacked Squirrel Girl (skating the edges of his promise by intending to bring her rotting corpse back to her own time), leading Doreen to flee with Nancy and the students.
To make matters worse, information from the future revealed the timeline had been altered by Doom and Squirrel Girl’s presence in the past. By the modern era of this new timeline, Doom was the undisputed ruler of all things, having systematically prevented the origins of all major super-heroes. Seeking to fulfill the prophecy made by Wikipedia on Nancy’s phone once the chronoton protection field was removed from it to reveal the new timeline (reality is ridiculous, sometimes), Doom began building an army of Doombots decades early. Squirrel Girl and Tippy-Toe tracked 
him down and attempted to steal his time machine, but Doom had installed a failsafe. Nancy and Mary’s Plan B to construct an EMP also failed against the Doombots’ superior shielding. Everything seemed hopeless until a flash of light signaled the arrival of another time machine with… Old Lady Squirrel Girl in stolen Doom armor!
So, it turned out the time travel mystery originated with a guy named Cody who inherited a time travel ray gun and used it to send other ESU CS majors back in time so they stopped adversely affecting the grade curve. Doreen failed to defeat Doom in this new timeline, but survived for decades in Doom’s World from the 60’s until the present rolled around and she was able to locate Cody. Old Lady Squirrel Girl then transported herself back in time to join forces with her younger 
self against Doom. Taking a page out of her older self’s play book, Doreen got blasted repeatedly by Cody’s time ray, cycling back on her own timeline again and again to create an army of Squirrel Girls. Doreen embarrassed and defeated Doom yet again, extracting an ironclad promise from him to return everyone to their proper time and place in exchange for her never telling anyone how she beat him. [Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2nd series) #2-5]