New Avengers (2nd series) #15

(present)
Squirrel Girl is looking into a camera, being interviewed by an unseen figure about herself and what she’s up to. She is a little shy, but everyone else has done one, even Wolverine, so she plays along. She thinks it’s nice to be asked but she hasn’t been part of the Avengers set up long. She’s not even an active member but she was a Great Lakes Avenger. However, that isn’t something that needs to be talked about, so she adds that she is the nanny for Luke and Jessica’s adorable daughter, Danielle. They needed a nanny with super powers of some sort and she desperately needed a job. She’s never nannied before but she feels she can do it. Oddly, it feels like a job for which she seems perfectly suited. It’s not quite the kind of job she expected it to be. There’s always something going on with the Avengers. Even when there’s nothing going on, there’s something going on.

(flashback)
Outside the mansion, Wolverine and Iron Fist are having a sparring session. Agreeing not to use claws or fists, they battle as several other Avengers watch with interest. Spider-Man can’t believe they need to practice. They haven’t had a moment to breathe in three years! Luke tells him he needs to keep limber. Spidey replies that all he needs is a nap. The two heroes duke it out, trying to outsmart each other. Luke smiles and remarks that he could watch this all day. Ms. Marvel replies that she’s pretty sure they’re going to.

Spidey strikes a martial arts pose and asks why he doesn’t yell out the moves. “Praying Lotus! Five Fingers of Death! Fist of the Tainted Punch!” Iron Fist makes a move but Wolverine tells him he’s seen him do it before and he grabs Danny’s arms and tells him to tap out. Iron Fist isn’t about to do that, so Wolverine twists him around and punches him to the ground. He stands victorious and tells Danny, “That was me at about eight.” Danny, lying on the ground, replies that he was at a three.

Wolverine asks who’s next. He sees Squirrel Girl holding Danielle and tells her to step forward. Jessica takes her baby off her as Wolverine asks her to enter the octagon. Luke informs Logan that Doreen is on their pay, but Jessica says she wants to see this. She’s in charge of their baby, so she’d like to see what she can do. “Go girl,” she adds. “Kick his booty.”

Squirrel Girl faces Wolverine, who puts his fist up. He says he won’t use his claws. He just wants to see what she’s got. Without a warning, she leaps at him and shouts, “Whatever!” She slashes at him ferociously, catching Wolverine off guard. Luke’s eyes widen, as do Jessica’s as she maintains her assault, not allowing Logan to catch a breath. She knees him in the chest and connects with an uppercut, sending Wolverine to the ground. The Avengers look on, astounded. Squirrel Girl turns and raises her hands, smiling. “Great Lakes Avengers represent!” Spider-Man has never heard of them.

Jessica then asks her to turn around. Before she can, Wolverine grabs her arm and twists it, reminding her never to turn your back on an opponent in a fight. Doreen tells him she knows. “Do you?” he asks. “Do you?” she replies. Wolverine looks around and sees that they are surrounded by dozens of squirrels, all looking like they mean business. Wolverine releases his grip and tells her she played that well. Spider-Man realizes that she can talk to squirrels. Jessica admits that she didn’t know that part. “I’m gonna heave,” adds Ms. Marvel. Luke hugs Danielle and asks Doreen to keep the squirrels away from their baby. Doreen turns and apologizes.

(present)
Doreen continues her tale to the camera. She admits that being a nanny wasn’t exactly her career goal, but then neither was growing up to be half squirrel, half girl. But, one day you just wake up and realize that sometimes your life has a mind of its own and takes you places you never thought you’d be. That’s what’s magical about it. She mentions that she takes classes past-time at N.Y.U., which is part of the reason she was so happy to get the job at Avengers Mansion. She admits that campus life isn’t exactly what she thought it would be. She sees how people stare at her. She had a friend once who said she should change her name to ‘Double-take,’ because she has the power to make anybody do a double-take.

(flashback)
Doreen is walking past the Washington Square Arch in Greenwich Village She’s not one to hide. Hiding just makes people not trust her. People look at her and they don’t know what to think. She’s okay with it, though, as she’s not hiding anything. As she walks, she hears a faint voice saying, “Aahh! Don’t!” She looks over and sees two men roughing up a young woman in an alleyway. One of them warns her that if she keeps screaming it’ll only be worse for her. Squirrel Girl wastes no time in laying into them, defeating them with ease. She asks the woman if she’s okay and if she need to go to hospital? The woman looks up but her eyes head skywards. “Is... is that normal?” she asks. Doreen turns and looks up to see dozens of large green mech units with Swastika logo’s flying in formation over New York City.

(present)
Doreen tells her interviewer that she didn’t know what the hell was going on. It was an invasion, right here in America. Her first thoughts were for the baby. It might not surprise them but it surprised the hell out of her. She admits that when she first auditioned for the role of nanny, she kinda hoped that the Avengers would notice her and really need her on the team. She took the job hoping to be an Avenger. Now, all she cared about what protecting the child. “Except…”

(flashback)
Squirrel Girl rushes across the rooftops, witnessing the mech units blasting away at everything they can see. She narrowly avoids a blast which smashes one of the rooftops but is then spotted by another which knocks over a water tower as it turns. She runs for her life and leaps from the roof as another explosion just misses her. She lands and turns. She frowns as she decides what to do next. With a powerful leap, she lands on the robot, smashes open the cockpit and makes the pilot pay for his career choice.

The unit crashes to the ground and explodes in flames. Doreen lands gracefully as a soldier climbs out. “Du kleines mistuck!” he cries before spotting a scurry of squirrels charging at him. As they leap on him, Doreen makes her getaway but is soon confronted by three more towering mech units. “Oh, come on,” she sighs as she is forced to leap to safety from yet another explosion.

Over at Avengers Mansion, the team has been alerted to the situation and Luke asks Jessica to get going. Danny asks what part of ‘Avengers Assemble’ does she not understand. Jessica descends the staircase holding Danielle and informs them that she cannot go. “The city’s under attack,” replies Luke. She tells him she can’t leave the baby. Luke asks where the damn nanny is, but Jessica tells him to just go. She’s got this. Luke says that the point of all this was so that she could be an Avenger. Jessica asks him what she must do. Leave the kid with the remote and a binky? “Go!”

Luke asks whether Wong could take care of her but, as he speaks, Squirrel Girl appears. She hangs onto the door frame after being weakened by the effort of getting home. She apologizes but explains that she got there as fast as she could. Jessica is shocked at her appearance and asks if she’s okay. Doreen puts her hands out for Danielle and takes her, informing Jessica that she will heal. She says the city is in complete chaos. Luke tells her they know and asks what it is out there. “Not to generalize,” she replies, “But… Nazis.” Wolverine snarls, “The Red Skull.” Jessica asks if she’s sure she is okay. Doreen tells her that they need her out there so she should go. Jessica says that the security systems will turn on when she closes the door. Does she remember the emergency scenario? “Go!” says Doreen again.

The Avengers head out and Doreen is left guarding Danielle. She struggles even under the baby’s weight and lifts her costume to see a large gash in her side. She tells the baby that it feels much worse than it looks. She decides to wash her hands but, before she can move, the lights go out and the emergency lights come on. A computer says that the building is entering lockdown mode. Avengers Mansion is under siege. “Lockdown mode,” she asks, surprised. Outside, several mecha units hover menacingly overhead and begin blasting the mansion.