Young Avengers (2nd series) #7

Space, a garage on an asteroid: a group of young Skrulls admires their Cadillac 4200 “xenocrusher.” Months of stealing and running and now it is ready. They are ready: cruising space lanes, hunting Kree and kicking ass! It can only get better! And then the Young Avengers arrive, standing on a flying platform.

The Skrulls steer the Cadillac to make a getaway. Kate Bishop fires a huge alien grappling gun their way and they are towed by the space Cadillac.

The Skrulls fire their weapons at them shouting: “die, Kree scum and assorted collaborators!”

Blocking the shots, Hulkling complains that he really hates these guys. Loki announces that, with him handling the small matter of them not explosively decompressing, it’s Billy Kaplan’s turn to perform a little magic. Ready? With all the cramming, he better be, Billy replies. He also better be ready as otherwise they are going to die trillions of miles away from Earth at the rate they are going, Loki adds helpfully. No pressure, of course.

Backwherewecambackwherewecame Billy requests and suddenly both they and the Cadillac teleport back to the asteroid they came from. Loki and Billy teleport them inside the garage where Kate and Noh-varr take the Skrulls out.

Hulkling presses a device on one of them to turn off his shape-shifting. But the “Skrull” turns into a white, featureless alien. What the hell are they? Teddy asks. Skifflefuffles, the alien explains. Anyone know what a Skifflefuffle is? Teddy asks confused.

Noh-varr remarks that he was aboard an expeditionary ship that danced across dimensions and charted worlds beyond imagining. He has never heard of a Skifflefuffle. However, Skiffle as a musical form was revived in a pre-beat boom movem—Kate shushes him.

The Skifflefuffles explain that they are shapeshifters. But they didn’t want to be actors like everyone else from Skifflefufflula. They wanted to be hardcore. The Skrulls are badass, they explain. They have such cool heads. Their empire was awesome!

So they’ve been harassing them, Teddy asks, because they’re Skrull wannabes? Miss America suggests they call their parents and get them grounded from the cosmos. And then breakfast. Pancakes? Noh-varr asks. Pancakes, Kate agrees.

The last three months since the Young Avengers were busy with Loki trying to teach Wiccan magic, spring break with sea monsters, Teddy’s birthday being crashed by the fake Skrulls, Kate fighting a strange girl school with weapons, a moon landing, and a Dazzler concert on the dark side of the moon and finally the raid.

On their way back to Earth, Kate and America and Loki and Billy respectively are training with each other. Sitting next to Noh-varr, Teddy muses he can’t believe they spent the last three months being harassed by juvenile wannabes. Who the hell goes and does something like that? It is said amongst his people that one should not provoke his enemies when he dwells within a fortress of glass, Loki announces. They are a completely different thing, Billy protests. They say “don’t throw stones in glass houses” too, Loki shares. He was just trying to Norse it up a bit.

America admits he has a point. See, even America agrees with him, Loki gloats and tells Billy to get back to work. How are they going to get rid of the troublesome Mother, get their parents back and, most importantly, stop him all boohoohing, if he doesn’t master his magic?

Teddy looks at them, causing Noh-varr to remark that he should try not to worry. He has mind control saliva. He doesn’t use it. That would be utterly immoral. Does he think Billy immoral? But what if he doesn’t know he‘s doing it? Teddy asks. Noh-varr understands his fear. When they first met he was in prison and was forced to attack the young Avengers, remember? He remembers being bruised for weeks, Teddy remarks. He would have swapped places in a second, Noh-varr points out. Doing things, but being helpless… Nothing is worse. But that is not how Billy and Teddy are. They should talk.

What can Billy say? Teddy asks. That he is not warping reality to make Teddy fall in love with him? How does he know? He can’t get the idea out of his head. In their downtime on Earth, he’s been sort of sneaking off and seeing a therapist. He thinks she’s helping him process everything but he loves him so much! But what if it’s all a lie?

Noh-Varr tells him they are both good people. To have such love is precious. He knows what it’s like to love. If it were taken, its ghost would linger and torment Teddy. He will find a way. It’s like the Supremes say: You can’t--. Teddy thanks him.

Seeing Kate, Noh-varr tells her that he has mind control saliva. Unimpressed, Kate replies it’s okay. Many parts of her body are mind control. This is true, he agrees.

Loki strictly interrupts that conversations about saliva are out of bounds until he has breakfast before him. Can’t this ship go any faster? The Norse god of mischief craves the congress of breakfast meat!

They have barely entered the diner when the waitress is already bringing them breakfast. They haven’t ordered, Kate points out. He ordered for them, a young, serious-looking African-American man sitting at the counter replies. Incorrectly, Loki complains about his pancakes with bacon. He’d have ordered blueberries. But he wanted the bacon, the young man replies.

Miss America is about to get angry. Teddy and Billy, being superhero geeks, identify him as Prodigy aka David Alleyne. He was one of the young X-Men siding with the Utopia mutants after the Schism and head of their youth division. No sightings since the fall of Utopia. Kate thanks David for breakfast. How did he find them?

Prodigy’s narration:
He’s been looking for them for a while. He managed to catch up one time when Billy and Teddy had made a meeting with the Scarlet Witch outside New York.

Instead of finding Wanda alone, Billy and Teddy entered the diner to see Billy’s parents and the parasite known as Mother with her. Wanda apologetically told them it breaks her heart to see them apart.

Billy’s parents attacked them with the powers of Mother while Mother ordered them to let her feed on their bright souls until the universe darkens.

The boys flee back into Noh-varr’s spaceship. With the kids gone, so is Mother, and the parents remember nothing, just wonder sadly why the boys are acting so strangely.

Having watched all this, Prodigy understood why the Young Avengers stayed off the grid. Still, he had to find them. He used some basic geometrical constructs to calculate their trajectories, based upon their public sightings. Many of their adventures ended up in this breakfast bar. He figure if he stayed here enough, he’d find them.
End of narration

So why do they call him Prodigy, then? Loki mocks. He’s guilty about something, isn’t he? David remarks coolly. Loki smiles weakly.

Kate interrupts, telling him he is spending too much time on how. Give them the why. David explains he was working with Billy’s brother Tommy. He has some bad news…

After he has told them the story of Tommy’s abduction, they gather at the scene of the crime. Is he sure this is where the dread spectre disappeared him, Mr. young, gifted and black? Loki asks. Of course, Prodigy replies before asking he’s a Norse god that knows Nina Simone?
He’s an alien who loves Nina Simone, Noh-varr announces. Before he can continue to gush, Kate orders him to be silent again and pretty.

Teddy asks why Loki is smearing jam on the floor. Magical reasons, he is told. The best of reasons. He wouldn’t be doing this if he had any other options. Green energy bursts from the ground, smearing Loki in the face with jam. Yes, he does believe there is a trail, he states. Can they follow it? Billy asks. An aimed dimension skip takes a lot of preparation from him and a lot of skill form Billy, Loki replies evasively. He started his rescue spell to pull him from Mother the second he brought the parasite through. It takes time. So they better get started… unless there’s somebody else who can—

If he wants to ask something, ask, America orders. She won’t punch him. No, she very well may kick him instead, Loki shouts. She grins as she pulls up her sleeves, revealing star tattoos on her wrists. And they say he never learns anything. Back away, she tells the others.

She stretches her arms apart. The star tattoos, her eyes and her star pendant begin to glow. A glowing star appears on the ground below her. America kicks it and shatters the ground, revealing a dimensional portal. Let’s move! she orders. Who is she? Kate asks. “Your ticket to the multiverse, princess,” America smiles.

They jump don the doorway and land in what looks like a negative version of the room. The false Patriot already expects them- Tic Toc tic toc, he announces. Tommy seems trapped behind his eyes. “Patriot” disappears through a dimensional doorway behind him.

For the record, this is absolutely what he’s been trying to avoid, David remarks.