Uncanny Avengers (3rd series) #16

'Japan is the greatest' Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool thinks to himself as he sits in a red convertible car that is heading a parade. A robot with a Deadpool mask follows him, and civilians line the street, cheering. He remembers that the Avengers formerly known as the “Unity Squad” came here to stop Voodoo's ghost bro from resurrecting Bruce Banner's body for ninjas of the Hand, then – bang, punch, stab, blam blam, yada yada and now – it is party time! Deadpool poses with two women, before standing over a naked woman covered in sushi. He picks some sushi up with chopsticks and decides that Japan really knows how to thank heroes. 'Hello, Deadpool-san. We need Cable' the woman covered in the sushi calls out. Suddenly, a naked Johnny Storm appears where the woman was, and he grabs Deadpool by his collar, 'Cable! We need Cable, dammit!' Johnny exclaims, while Deadpool looks confused and asks the Human Torch why he is a sushi table. 'CABLE!' the Torch shouts as he slaps Deadpool hard in the face.

Deadpool looks up from the large Hulk-sized footprint in the snow where he has been squashed and sees Johnny kneeling beside him, while the temple behind them is ablaze. 'I'm glad you woke me up before I got to the tuna roll' Deadpool mutters, before asking the Torch if he showered today. 'Ugh. Deadpool's down. He's making even less sense than usual' the Torch reports over his communicator, before he tells Wade that they are trying to keep the reanimated Hulk away from populated areas, but it is heading back for the city. He instructs Wade to get up and get them some backup. 'FLAME ON!' the Torch then shouts as he switches to his powered form, and flies after Rogue who shouts 'Let's move!' as she swoops down towards him. Still lying in the snow, Deadpool mutters 'Siri. Call Cable'. But the automated device responds with 'I'm sorry, “Your Highness” but I don't understand “Ball Table”' Deadpool wonders if the Hand can resurrect Steve Jobs so he can kill him. 'Cable, I know you can hear me. Reach out with your feelings or whatever... I could use your redonkulous shoulder pad to cry on right now' Deadpool mutters.

At another snow-covered location, inside some sort of farmhouse building, 'So – we failed' Sebastian Shaw asks as he and the Toad watch Nathan Summers a.k.a. Cable at a makeshift lab. Cable tells Shaw that  he is not giving up, but that he it not going to be able to find a cure for the Terrigen Mist poisoning with the research they have at present. ''So – we failed?' Toad asks. Shaw tells Toad to be quiet, while Cable reports that Beast has looked at his raw data and conclusions, and agrees with him. 'That's the best we could do? Nothing?' the Toad exclaims, to which Cable announces that he managed to fix his arm and bring Belle back online. The AI called Belle, who appears as a tattoo on Cable's shoulder yawns and states that she is running diagnostics and upating the chronometer – and setting a reminder not to piss Rogue off. Belle begins to download all Cable's newsfeeds, before enquiring as to how the Captain America situation resolved while she was offline. 'Poorly' Cable tells her, adding that they lost any goodwill they had with Steve Rogers.

'Do you actually care what that man thinks of you?' Shaw asks. Cable looks at the window and confirms that he does, and tells Shaw that he should too. 'He's the reason Hitler only had one testicle' Cable adds. 'HE'S CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA' Cable exclaims as the snow falls outside. Cable goes wide-eyed as Belle reports that a newsfeed has the team engaged in a fight with a monster in Japan. 'Prepare to bodyslide' Cable instructs her. Belle reminds Cable that they haven't tested the new version of the teleporter yet, and as a beam of blue energy appears behind Cable, he tells Belle that they are testing it now. 'So you're just dropping our Terrigen Mist problem?' Shaw asks. Cable holds up a large gun and declares that he isn't, but he feels like taking his frustrations out on a giant monster. 'Guns are hot' he adds.

Cable then tells Shaw that he could use his help, and states that Professor X was right – if mutants are seen helping the world out, maybe the world will go the extra mile for them with the Mists. Cable disappears through the portal, and Shaw turns to Toad: 'What the hell, right? Japan is always a delight, and I'm in the mood to punch something, too'. But Toad reminds Shaw that the X-Men and Avengers always turned their noses up at them. 'Why? Because they think they're better than us just because they fight for free – for the attention. I don't care to be loved!' Toad exclaims, waving a finger at Shaw. Toad follows Shaw into the portal, 'They're not better than us!' Toad mutters. 'Of course not, Toad. But anywhere is better than this Kansas flop-house' Shaw points out as they disappear – and cautiously poke their heads out of the other side of the portal – seeing the heroes in full battle against the Hulk!

The Hulk smashes the side off a building in an attempt to punch some of the heroes, while Quicksilver speeds two civilians to safety. Cable, the Torch and Deadpool open fire at the Hulk, as Elektra leas nearby, and Doctor Voodoo hovers over them. 'Ah'm gonna face it one-on-one, but I need some room to operate!' Rogue calls out. On the ground, Synapse reports that she is trying to put it to sleep – but it's no use. Quicksilver tells Synapse to forget it, and to just protect the civilians. 'Is that a Hulk?' Shaw asks as he surveys the situation. 'Sure looks like it! Form up on me!' Cable replies. But Shaw and the Toad step back through the portal, with Shaw deciding that, upon consideration, this Kansas farmhouse does have its quaint charms. 'Rain check, heroics' the Toad remarks.

'What the hell is wrong with the Hulk?' Cable asks, ducking as the Hulk lunges at him. Rogue hovers overhead and tells Cable that it is a long story, and asks him to distract the Hulk for a moment while she builds up momentum. 'Copy that. Let me make an introduction' Cable replies, as he fires his weapon directly at the Hulk's face. 'Jean, meet Hulk. Hulk, meet Jean' Cable calls out, before he instructs Belle to bodyslide – but Belle quickly remarks 'Uh-oh. Negative function. Stand by!' Cable opens fire at the Hulk again as the Hulk turns to him. Cable tells Belle that this isn't purple Hulk – it's the real Hulk! 'I told you we needed to test the teleporter' Belle remarks, as empty bullet shells drop to the ground as Cable continues to fire at the Hulk.

'Keep on him with whatever you got, Nate. Ah'm inbound!' Rogue reports as she speeds through the air nearby. Cable looks up at the Hulk and mutters that this is a stupid way to die. 'Nobody's dying on my watch!' Rogue calls out as she flies straight into the Hulk, the impact slamming Hulk away from the others and through the air – all the way into a city road, some miles away. Rogue radios the others and explains that she meant to punch the Hulk into the ocean, but she missed. 'Who's got eyes on the undead Hulk?' Rogue asks. 'This is Senor Muertepool. I have eyes on the Hulk' Deadpool reports as he sees the Hulk bring himself to a stop on the city road. Deadpool watches as the Hulk goes over to the statue of a large robot. 'He's near a statue of – I dunno who it is – maybe the first Japanese Prime Minister?' Deadpool announces, as the Hulk grabs the statue and hurls it into the air. 'I've made a terrible mistake' Deadpool mutters, as the statue comes crashing down to the ground – slamming into a bridge, who collapses into the water beneath.

In a snow-covered forest, Synapse is helping civilians, while the Wasp looks out to an explosion in the distance. Elektra declares that she was asked to find the Hand, and she did, but she is out of her league against that. Rogue looks up at Elektra and asks her if she at least knows how to stop it. Elektra explains that the surest way to purify the Hand's resurrection is to purify the body. Rogue asks how they do that, to which the Wasp hangs her head annd remarks that they incinerate it. 'Isn't the Hulk fireproof? Fire-resistant?' Synapse asks. 'Isn't the Torch's only power to set things on fire?' Elektra adds, to which Rogue states that she is going to want a “plan B”, too.

'I can stop the the monster' Doctor Voodoo announces from where he stands on a fallen tree. He adds that he needs an isolated location, and ten minutes to prepare. As Quicksilver speeds towards the group, Rogue instructs him to scout for the location, and then turns to Voodoo and tells him that he has got five minutes. A moment later, Quicksilver returns, and reports that he has found an abandoned island off the West Coast. 'Get him there – now' Rogue tells him. Quicksilver tells Doctor Voodoo to take a deep breath, before they speed away. Elektra tells Rogue that she must have a plan in case the Hulk goes berserk. The Wasp points out that they do, but they just used it on Ultron, before telling Elektra that she doesn't have to stick this one out. 'I know. But if this is how the world ends... I'd like the front row seat' Elektra responds.

At that moment, 'Welcome to Hashima Island' Quicksilver tells Voodoo as he races the sorcerer across the water separating the island from the mainland. As they arrive on the island, they look up at some run-down buildings. Quicksilver explains that this is an abandoned coal facility with a tragic and sad past. Voodoo remarks that he didn't realize Quicksilver knew so much about Japanese history. 'I'm a quick reader, too' Quicksilver smiles, before asking Voodoo how he plans to stop the Hulk. Voodoo cuts the palm of his hand and some blood trickles from the wound as he replies 'That's not the question we need answered right now' and asks Quicksilver how he plans to lure the Hulk here. 'Ha! I have no idea – but you'll find out soon enough! Be ready!' Quicksilver exclaims as he speeds off. Voodoo uses the blood from his hand to draw some diagrams on the building ruins, and energy darts about him as he exclaims 'Bloodlight burn!' before surrounding himself in a pentagram. 'Good luck luring him here. I'll be ready. At least I hope I'll be ready' Voodoo utters as he hovers in the pentagram.

The Wasp wants to try talking to the Hulk, and in her insect form she flies up into his ear, 'Bruce! Can you hear me? It's Janet!' she calls out to him. The Hulk comes to a stop, as Janet tells him that something terrible has happened – well, a bunch of terrible things, actually. 'Bruce. You spent your whole life after your accident trying not to lose control. Remember your discipline now. Hulk is the strongest one there is – but I need you to be stronger than this' Jan tells him. Cable, rogue, Elektra, Synapse, the Torch, Deadpool and Quicksilver are behind a fallen tree as they watch. Rogue points out that the Wasp has been in there for a while. 'She's going to die. The Hand breathed life into the monster, but we stopped them before they gave it a mission. Now it lives only to kill 'Elektra remarks. Synapse tells the others that she thinks the Hulk is calming down, while the Torch reminds the others that Janet has known Bruce longer than any of them, so they should try to stay positive. 'Wasp is rebranding herself as a Hulk-whisperer' Deadpool jokes. 'Oh, she's going to die' Quicksilver mutters.

Suddenly, the Hulk brings a fist upwards – and slams it into his ear! 'WASP!' the Torch calls out as he powers up, and the others get ready for action. 'YOW!' the Wasp screams as she falls from the Hulk's head. 'Gotcha!' Quicksilver tells Wasp as he speeds over and catches her before she hits the ground. 'Hit it with everything you got!' Rogue tells the others as she slams her fist into the Hulk, knocking the behemoth backwards through the air. Cable declares that they need to get the Hulk to Voodoo – now. Quicksilver reports that Voodoo needed a few minutes to prepare, but Cable declares that they are out of time – as the Hulk has just landed in front of a nuclear power station! Indeed, and as the nuclear power station glows behind him, the Hulk starts to get to his feet....