Uncanny Avengers (3rd series) #6

The Maximum Security Prison known as the Cellar, where a prison guard approaches the cell where Dirk Garthwaite a.k.a. Wrecker is sitting, reading a magazine. The guard tells him to step forward and reclaim his personal belongings, adding that he doesn't know why he is allowed to have the tool back. 'It ain't just a tool. It's a weapon of glory' Wrecker responds. 'Construction tool, I says' the guard remarks, adding that he and some other guards have a bet going – on how long it before the Wrecker is right back here.

54 minutes later, the Wrecker smashes his way into Avengers Mansion: 'Hey, Avengers! Knock knock! C'mon out of your stupid mansion, you dopey bums! Come get some of – the Wrecker!' the criminal shouts, before he goes wide-eyed, 'What da hell?' he shouts, when he sees, standing before him, is a surprised, overwieght man wearing a replica of Hawkeye's classic costume. 'Whoa! Be careful, dude! You could have hurt me just now!' “Hawkeye” exclaims, adding that he didn't sign up for any rough stuff, and certainly doesn't want to pay money to get beaten up. 'What the hell is this place?' Wrecker snaps. 'Well, it used to be Avengers Mansion, but -' “Hawkeye” begins, before Wrecker tells him to shut up and slams a fist into his face, knocking “Hawkeye” out. 'Man, I got to the joint for a couple of months and the world blows up' Wrecker mutters as he carries on further into the mansion.

Six minutes later, 'I promised to try your stupid cart, and so I have. I'll never touch it again. That was humiliating' Pietro Maximoff a.k.a. Quicksilver declares as he speeds onto the grounds of Avengers Mansion, towing Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool behind him on a strange cart, loaded with assorted weapons. 'Yeah, well – the Dead-sled sure beats being carried in your arms like a giant baby' Deadpool replies. 'Carting you around is almost as dreadful as being back at Avengers Mansion. I swore I wouldn't return after it became a theme hotel' Quicksilver mutters. Deadpool tells Quicksilver that he would rather be out looking for the Red Skull, too, but that they gotta put out the fires as they come. 'Thank you for coming so fast!' the hotel manager tells the heroes, who walk past him and enter the mansion, as Quicksilver asks Deadpool what he cares about the Red Skull using Xavier's brain.

Deadpool explains that he is trying to live up to Logan's legacy – by killing everyone he would if he still possessed the gift of life. Deadpool adds that whatever is wrong with his head makes it impossible for telepaths to put a whammy on him. 'I'm the natural tip of the spear against the Red Skull while he has Chuck's brain' Deadpool boasts. 'How comforting' Quicksilver replies as they walk up a staircase. Quicksilver points out that the vandal is upstairs, and instructs Deadpool to handle it while he sweeps the rest of the mansion. Suddenly, the wall next to them is smashed open, 'HEY!' Quicksilver shouts, his head narrowly missing being struck by the Wrecker's weapon. Through the wall, a man dressed as the Vision and a woman dressed as the Wasp can be seen on the bed in the room. 'Is this another surprise?' “Vision” asks. 'No – not that I'm aware of!' “Wasp” replies. “Vision” declares that he is picking their vacation next year, while “Wasp” looks through the hole in the wall and asks 'Are you the real Deadpool?'

'If I were, would I be here at Avengers Fantasy Camp?' Deadpool replies, before the Wrecker appears next to him, 'I guess you suckers got evicted while I was away “on vacation”!' the Wrecker declares, reaching for a sword, Deadpool shouts 'Now begins the Contest of Chumpions!' while Wrecker slams his weapon towards Deadpool, striking the wall instead, as Deadpool ducks. Deadpool mutters that he wishes Synapse was here, as she would put Wrecker to sleep, instead of Wrecker putting him to sleep. 'Synapse? Who the hell is Synapse?' Wrecker retorts.

At that moment, in a cafe called Apollo Coffee, Emily Guerrero a.k.a. Synapse is sitting at a table, reading news articles on her phone regarding the Shredded Man. One article's headline asks if the Shredded Man was a mutant, while another states the identity of the Boston eco-terrorist remains a mystery. 'Emily?' the coffee shop employee asks as he hands over her coffee and a portable payment device. 'Here. Thanks' Emily replies as she puts her credit card to the device. 'Hey, aren't you that new Avenger?' the employee asks. 'No, sorry' Emily replies. 'Oh, uh – are you sure you're not?' the employee asks, looking out the window. 'Oh my God!' a customer exclaims, wide-eyed as they look out the window. 'What are they doing here?' a woman asks. 'They're here for me' Emily announces as she gets up and walks towards the door, where, outside, three of the Inhuman Royal Family – Medusa, Karnak and Triton – along with their ally, Henry McCoy a.k.a. Beast, hover in energy bubbles above the ground, as delighted and surprised civilians look on and take photos and record videos.

'Hello, Synapse. You haven't returned any of our calls. Can we go somewhere more private?' Medusa asks. 'What could be more private than this?' Synapse responds. Karnak introduces himself and tells Synapse that they know her family's transformation has been difficult – that the pieces of her life no longer fit together. He adds that he and Medusa would like to offer her their help moving forward. Medusa asks Synapse if she will come with them, to which Synapse points out that they won't fit in her apartment. Medusa remarks that she doesn't understand Synapse's hesitation, pointing out that she has been reborn into an amazing family. Medusa asks Syanspe to come with her to Attilan, where she can introduce her to her Inhuman brothers and sisters. 'I was already born into one family that I'm not crazy about' Synapse replies, sipping her coffee. 'But right now I would follow you into Mordor just to get away from the crowd' Synapse admits as the crowd around them grows. Medusa thanks Synapse, and promises that if she doesn't like what she hears, she will drop her right back. Medusa's hair wraps around Synapse, lifting her into the force bubble. 'I'm going to hold you to that when I don't like what I hear. Just because I got powers doesn't mean I give a crap about suddenly having a queen' Synapse declares. Medusa frowns at Synapse and explains that she leads by necessity, not by desire.

A short flight later, the force bubble descends over New Attilan, an island located just across from the Statue of Liberty. 'Welcome to New Attilan!' Medusa exclaims. 'Very pretty' Synapse replies, before asking how many people who aren't Inhuman live here. 'Some. But this is a refuge for our people' Medusa replies. 'Refuge? Or reservation?' Synapse asks, while the winged Avius flies past them. Medusa asks Synapse if she judges the mutants this harshly, or the humans. 'Hey, I am a human. Or was' Synapse mutters. As they land on the ground, the force bubble vanishes, and Synapse reveals to Medusa that her family is half Irish, half Mexican, and when her grandfather brought the family to New York, they didn't belong in Hell's Kitchen, and didn't feel comfortable in Spanish Harlem. The centaur-like Stallior and the gargoyle-ish Flaidermaus walk past, as Synapse continues: 'But still, New Yorkers were... were... wait. Is that supposed to be flying?' Synapse asks, when suddenly, there is a loud crashing noise, and bricks from the building above them begin to tumble towards the ground below. 'What the hell?' Synapse shouts. 'Look out!' Medusa exclaims, using her hair as a shield to block the rubble, she tells Synapse to stay close, as it is a telekinetic attack.

'TURN IT OFF!' shouts Julian Keller a.k.a. Hellion, who is in the center of a telekinetic vortex, with trees, rubble and birds caught up in the surge of energy, and whirling around him. Hellion exclaims that he can't control his powers any more, and reveals that he is a mutant who was exposed to the T-Mist cloud, that he tried to find help, but the X-Men are missing. 'If I'm going to die – let my death be witnessed here in the Inhuman capital!' Hellion calls out, before Synapse tells him to clear his mind – but before she can help him, a small chunk of rock hits her in the head and she falls over. Medusa goes over to Synapse as the ground around them begins to break and rise up. 'This child is going to destroy New Attilan!' Medusa remarks. Synapse asks Medusa if she can get her close to him. Medusa tells her that she doesn't know, but will try.

They approach Hellion, who warns them to stay back, while Synapse explains that if she can get close enough, she thinks she can start disconnecting wires in his head, turn him off. 'It feels like i'm burning alive!' Hellion calls out, while Medusa asks Synapse if that will kill him. 'I don't know. I'm making this up as I go' Synapse replies, before calling out to Hellion and telling him that she is sorry about this, as she puts her hands on his face and tells him 'Stop'. 'Is he having a seizure?' Medusa asks as Synapse lays Hellion on the ground. 'Yes, but I'm not causing it. It's the Terrigen in the air' Synapse explains, still holding her hands to Hellion's face, she informs Medusa that she is trying to short-circuit the effect. As more rubble races around them, Medusa tells Synapse to try faster – and to keep her head down, as Medusa uses her hair as a shield, covering the three of them from the rubble.

Surrounded by a dome made out of Medusa's hair, Hellion looks up at Synapse and tells her that he can't feel his power. 'I unplugged it' Synapse explains, telling him not to worry, as it is temporary – at least, she thinks it is, but she is not a brain surgeon. Hellion apologizes, and remarks that he didn't mean to hurt anyone. Synapse tells him that it is not his fault, and that when he wakes, he will be safe. She cover his eyes and tells him to sleep. 'Nice save, Your Highness. I know Hellio ntrashed the place, but you'll let him off the hook, right?' Synapse asks Medusa, who replies 'We're Inhumans, Emily – not monsters. We do not persecute the infirm'. Medusa parts her hair, and a blue-skinned Inhuman appears, asking Medusa if she is hurt. Medusa tells the Inhuman that she isn't, and instructs him to take their young guest to the physicians, and to treat him with care. 'So, how's having untended clouds of Terrigen floating around working out for everybody?' Synapse asks. Medusa replies that the situation with the mutants is unfortunate, but suggests they talk about Synapse, and explains that if they had a dialogue back when she and her family first emerged from the cocoons, they might have prevented what her grandfather became.

'Of course you know' Synapse mutters, looking unimpressed, she tells Medusa that she doesn't know about them being pals, and asks her if she knows what would have prevented Boston: 'If we were never exposed to the mists in the first place' Synapse exclaims, before suggesting that maybe it is time to burn that Terrigen cloud from the atmosphere. Flaidermaus and other Inhumans including the tentacled Doris and the butterfly-winged Iridia, gather around as Medusa tells Synapse that she will find little traction here with that argument, as the mists are sacred to Inhumans. Medusa suggests that they table any talk of the past and look to the future. 'What happens if your brother goes the way of your grandfather?' Medusa enquires. 'I...' Synapse replies, her voice trailing off, before Medusa asks her if it is true, what her grandfather is capable of. 'I'm sorry... I'd like to go home now' Synapse tells her. Medusa shakes Emily's hand and tells her that it was nice to meet her. 'Yeah, thanks it was nice to be met' Emily replies. 'Please do not address Medusa like -' the blue-skinned Inhuman begins, but Medusa tells him that it is fine, and instructs him to take Synapse wherever she would like to go.

'This is ridiculous. We're trashing the Avengers' spiritual home!' Deadpool exclaims, while Quicksilver speeds about the mansion, collecting all of the civilians dressed as Avengers and dropping them off out from of the mansion, “Yellowjacket”, a heavily-pregnant “Mantis”, “Ronin” and “Dr Druid”. 'I'm clearing the civilians' Quicksilver exclaims, while Wrecker tells Deadpool that he gives up, and explains that all he wanted was a quick trip back to jail, adding that his prison therapist said he was not “emotionally ready” to be free. 'Whaddya say to that?' Wrecker asks. 'Uh – flash-bang out?' Deadpool replies, as he throws a grenade at Wrecker, which blinds him and knocks him back. Quicksilver joins them and Deadpool tells Quicksilver to stand back, as he is pulling out his most powerful weapon. 'Moolah-douken!' Deadpool jokes as he throws a large wad of money at Wrecker.

'What are you doing, man?' Wrecker asks as the money falls around him. Deadpool offers Wrecker a job, cash and off the books. 'Whaddya talking about?' Wrecker asks. 'Yes. What are you talking about?' Quicksilver remarks, as Wrecker starts to collect the money, Deadpool explains that it is a simple gig – and reveals that the Avengers are looking for the Red Skull and his daughter, Sin, and that this money is a retainer. 'You hear anything, you let me know' Deadpool tells Wrecker, adding that he will pay him a finder's fee if his info leads to the Skull. With the money shoved into his jacket, Wrecker starts to leave, telling Deadpool that he has a deal, but not to tell anyone about this, as it could ruin him. 'That feeling is mutual' Quicksilver mumbles, before asking Deadpool if he honestly thinks the Red Skull would lower himself to the Wrecker's level of ineptitude. 'No, but it might help him stay out of jail. Having a mission helps keep a man on the right path' Deadpool remarks.

'Are you sure we're still talking about the Wrecker?' Quicksilver smiles, as the hotel manager approaches him, asking if it is over, and what has happened to the maniac. 'Yeah, we hit him with some Pym Particles, and he's shrunk down and sleeping it off in my pouch here' Deadpool replies, pointing at one of the pouches around his hips. Deadpool tells the manager that lives have been saved, that is their job, but beyond that “shipping and handling” of the Wrecker is going to cost him some cheddar. 'I can't watch this' Quicksilver mutters as he speeds away, while Deadpool tells the manager that ten grand ought to cover it. 'Not a penny more!' the manager calls back. 'I didn't think that would work' Deadpool remarks to himself as he looks at the check the manager wrote out.

Quicksilver speeds back into the room, and tells Deadpool that he thinks charging the people they saved is quite gross – but for these vultures, he will make an exception. 'I was just doing “Venkman” 'cause I was bored' Deadpool replies. They make their way through the mansion, and Deadpool explains that he will reinvest it and they will save some people that don't have checking accounts. 'Cash, grass or sea bass, nobody's saved for free, amirite?' Deadpool adds, before remarking that, speaking of sea bass, he is hungry. 'Want to grab a bite?' Deadpool asks, but Quicksilver tells him that he is late for a date. Deadpool walks past a large sealed door with an “A” on it, 'Fine, suit your -' he begins, kicking a piece of rubble, before coming to a stop and looking at the door. 'The catacombs? We sealed that area when we sold the mansion. Is everything -?' Quicksilver asks. 'Yeah, we're good' Deadpool replies, adding that it was just his imagination. 'Let's be sure. I'll sweep the locked-down subterranean areas' Quicksilver offers, putting his eye to a scanner on the vault door, and instructing the computer to open the vault on his authorization. 'I'll be back in a moment!' Quicksilver calls out as he speeds into the vault. 'Let's see how fast you really are. Seal the vault on my authorization' Deadpool tells the computer, putting his eye to the scanner, the vault door slams shut – but Quicksilver is already back in the corridor.

'Please. I've never let a door win a race yet' Quicksilver boasts, before reporting that the lower complex is clear, nothing to worry about. 'Oh, good. Glad Dr Druid's old bathrobes and Hawkeye's sky-cycle are safe' Deadpool jokes. They walk back down the corridor, and Quicksilver informs Deadpool that he is not pulling him in his stupid Dead-Sled. 'All right, fine, I'll give you a ride back' Deadpool mutters.

Within the now re-sealed vault: 'That was... unexpected' Sin remarks as she stands with her father, the Red Skull, who agrees, but points out that their visit was quite an opportunity, for as he psychically masked them from Quicksilver, he was able to do what he could not to Rogue, and implanted a suggestion in the speedster's mind that will come in very handy later. Insignia and a fighter jet can be seen behind them as Sin smirks and reminds her father that she told him this would be the last place the Avengers would look for them, though she had not considered that the enemies of their enemies would come calling for them. The Red Skull assures Sin that they won't need to hide much longer, and suggests they return to their task, for soon the Avengers will be no more!