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Gerry Duggan (writer), Pepe Larraz (artist) Dono Sanchez Almara & Protobunker (colorists), Virtual Calligraphy's Clayton Cowles (letterer), Adam Kubert & Dean White (cover artists), Joe Jusko (variant cover artist), Alanna Smith (assistant editor), Tom Brevoort & Daniel Ketchum (editors), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)
Avengers created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby
The Red Skull has the Avengers Unity Squad under his control, forcing them to battle their teammate Deadpool, who has found assistance from Spider-Man and Wong. The trio battle Quicksilver, the Wasp, the Human Torch, Doctor Voodoo and Synapse, eventually getting past all of them so that Deadpool can reach Avengers Mansion. He is briefly attacked by the hotel guests staying at Avengers Mansion who are also under Red Skull's control, before being confronted by the Red Skull's daughter, Sin, who he easily knocks out. Deadpool makes his way through the Mansion before he is attacked by Rogue. They battle for some time, before Rogue slams her fist through Deadpool's body, leaving him a bloody mess on the floor, before delivering him to a banquet table, where the Red Skull is waiting for him.
'My friends, you must finish Spider-Man quickly. The rest of the Avengers will be here soon, no doubt. It's going to be a fun evening' the Red Skull telepathically communicates to members of the Avengers Unity Squad who are under his control including Jan van Dyne a.k.a. the Wasp, Pietro Maximoff a.k.a. Quicksilver and Jericho Drumm a.k.a. Doctor Voodoo. The Wasp fires her energy blasts at Spider-Man, who traps Quicksilver in some webbing. Wong defends himself with a mystical barrier against Doctor Voodoo as he exclaims 'I can’t believe Deadpool! He drags us into this war against the Red Skull, and then he runs off while we're fighting his brainwashed teammates!' Spider-Man welcomes Wong to the Deadpool business, and warns him that it only goes downhill from here. 'Tell it to Yelp, you complaining babies! ' Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool calls out as he rides a bicycle furiously along the road, 'I'm back! I didn't find who I was looking for, but I think I got what I need to end this!' Deadpool calls out. He spins a weapon above his head and knocks the Wasp backwards as she flies over to him.
'That's gonna be a problem. Your teammates are preventing us from getting close' Wong announces as he deflects a mystical blast that Doctor Voodoo casts towards him. Wong adds that he is no stranger to unsettling adventures, but listening to the Red Skull speak through these Avengers is disturbing. Suddenly, Spider-Man begins to feel dizzy. 'Where's Synapse?' he calls out, when suddely, Emily Guerrero the Inhuman called Synapse appears, using her powers against Deadpool, Spider-Man and Wong, making them clutch their heads and fall to their knees. The Red Skull speaks through Synapse, telling them that as formidable as Synapse's powers over their nervous systems should be, they should be more concerned with where the Human Torch is. 'I can't stand!' Wong exclaims, as the mind-controlled Johnny Storm a.k.a. the Human Torch appears in the air above them. 'I think I'll let Johnny Storm watch as he roasts you' the Red Skull calls out.
Deadpool hands a grenade to Spider-Man, 'That hydrant over there!' he exclaims. Spider-Man tells him that is a good idea, and throws the grenade towards the hydrant, 'Fire in the hole!' Spider-Man calls out – and as the grenade explodes against the hydrant, water blasts into the air, and straight at the Human Torch, putting out his flames as he is knocked backwards. Wong uses this moment to trip Synapse up, and the young Inhuman falls backwards, enabling Deadpool, Spider-Man and Wong to get to their feet and make an escape. Spider-Man swings along on some webbing and tells the others that he sent a general distress call, so help should be on the way. Wong reports that Dr Strange knows to join them when he is back on this plane of existence, but Deadpool tells them that they are already too late, that this situation is out of control, and once the three of them are out of the way, the Skull is going to make the Unity Squad do Odin-knows-what.
'Spidey-sense!' Spider-Man exclaims, before he is slammed through the air by Quicksilver, who speeds into him, and sends him careening through a shop window, where he lands amongst some racks of clothing. 'Well, I swore I wouldn't be caught dead in an Urban Outfitters' Spider-Man mutters, before he hurls something back through the broken window, 'Hey, Deadpool! Skeet-shooting time!' he exclaims. 'Pull!' Deadpool calls back as he opens fire, shooting the object, which explodes and releases Spider-Man's webbing, which falls down over Quicksilver, trapping the speedster. 'Ach, very clever. But I have so many toys of my own to play with now' the Red Skull calls out as Doctor Voodoo finds the trio and drops down near Wong. 'Doctor Voodoo is no puppet – he's my friend!' Wong exclaims as he quickly casts a spell which deflects the mystical energy that Doctor Voodoo releases towards him.
The Wasp returns, flying over to Deadpool she stings him in the neck with an energy blast, causing Deadpool to scream, while the Human Torch recovers and gets to his feet, the Red Skull telepathically reminds Spider-Man that he and the Torch were good friends for a long time. 'If I can't make him watch as I kill you – perhaps you'll enjoy watching as I kill him' the Red Skull suggests. 'No!' Spider-Man calls out, before firing some webbing at the Torch, which he spins into some restraints, he then hangs the Torch off a nearby street sign. 'We need to take the fight to the Skull – now!'Spider-Man calls out. As he fires a machine gun, Deadpool tells Spider-Man that he agrees, and claims that he can end this if he can get past their friends. 'How far can you throw me?' Deadpool asks. 'As mad as I am right now? I could heave you to New Jersey!' Spider-Man responds as he fires some webbing around Deadpool's wrists. Deadpool tells him that Avengers Mansion will be good enough, and Spider-Man begins to swing Deadpool around and around. 'Put your tray tables up, assume the crash position and kiss your butt goodbye!' Spider-Man jokes, before wishing Deadpool good luck as he spins him faster and faster, finally letting go, and sending Deadpool flying through the air, 'Give the Skull my love' Spider-Man jokes, while Deadpool calls out 'My home planet needs me...!'
As Doctor Voodoo follows him, Deadpool thinks to himself that in a perfect world, they would have every Avengers team, and that space raccoon, in on this caper. But the longer the Skull has his teammates, the worse the situation is going to get. As he is flung past some police officers, Deadpool nears Avengers Mansion, and decides that the first thing to do is find and neutralize Rogue. He is already disappointed that Cable hasn't come back in time to fix this. As he crashes through a window into the darkened Avengers Mansion, Deadpool realizes that scares him more than anything – where is Cable? He knows that he has to move fast, as the Skull is probably remote viewing this through these poor hotel guests. Several hotel guests dressed as Avengers including Captain America, Wolverine and Thor look on as Deadpool mutters that he was going to try and go easy on the civilian casualties, but the first one he sees is dressed as Wolverine! 'Skull really is a sadist' Deadpool decides.
The controlled hotel guests, including ones dressed as Falcon and Immortus, close in on Deadpool, with the Red Skull commanding them to destroy him, and to eat him alive! 'I hope poor Jarvis won't have to clean me up!' Deadpool jokes, before he drops a smoke grenade, which releases a smoke that causes the hotel guests to back away from him. Deadpool knows that whwtaver is wrong with his head makes him immune to telepathy, which means if he can get to the Skull, he can end this caper with a big bang – but there are two women in his way – Rogue, and the Skull's daughter, Sin. Deadpool emerges from the smoke, dragging guests dressed asthe Black Panther and Storm behind him, while certain that he has a plan for Rogue and Sin. Suddenly, 'Hello, Deadpool' Sin smirks as she appears before him, holding a gun in one hand and a large sword resting across her shoulders. 'Hi, Sin' Deadpool replies, before he suddenly slams his fist into the woman, knocking her out. 'Bye, Sin' Deadpool mutters as he walks down a staircase, a gun at the ready, he admits that he didn't say he had a good or elegant plan – just that he had one. Deadpool reaches another floor of the Mansion, knowing that just leaves Rogue.
Deadpool carefully opens a door to another room, gun at the ready, he tells himself that if he can take down Rogue, this will all have a happy ending – unless he can find Skull first. Suddenly, he sees the Red Skull nearby, 'Sin, there's trouble outside! The heroes are here faster than I anticipated' Red Skull calls out, 'Ho=ho-holu $#%& Merry Christmas to me' Deadpool thinks to himself, before stepping out of the Shadows and aiming the gun straight at the Red Skull's head. 'The Avengers are here -' the Red Skull begins, before stopping in his tracks. The Red Skull looks at Deadpool, who decides that the Skull doesn't need telepathic powers to make him freeze – and it's too late, as Rogue punches through the wall and grabs Deadpool's arm before he can fire the gun. 'Just like that, I $%&#% it all up' Deadpool mutters to himself, before Rogue throws him to the ground.
'Goodness, that was quite a scare you gave me' the Red Skull remarks, watching as Deadpool ducks Rogue's foot when she tries to kick him. The Red Skull admits that it is unsettling to meet someone whose mind he cannot read, while Deadpool calls out to Rougue, encouraging her to snap out of it, he opens fire, but she blocks the bullets, while the Red Skull states that he used to see Captain America's dependence on teams as a weakness – but now that he has the most powerful telepathic mind in the world, he has really come around to Captain America's way of thinking. Rogue then kicks the gun out of Deadpool's hand, and brings the heel of her boot back down onto Deadpool's face. 'I love teamwork!' the Red Skull claims as Rogue kicks Deadpool in his stomach after he falls to the ground. Rogue puts one of her boots on Deadpool's neck, holding him down, as the Red Skull tells him that this isn't going to end the way he hoped it would. A moment later, Rogue tosses Deadpool into the air – then punches her fist right through his stomach, sending blood and guts splattering everywhere.
The Red Skull laughs, 'Wonderful!' he exclaims, before deciding that all this excitement has him quite hungry for a late bite. As he walks away from Rogue, who removes her blood-soaked hand from Deadpool's body he telepathically instructs his servants to prepare is meal.
Shortly, 'You're not going to watch her destroy the Unity Squad?' Sin asks her father as he enters the large formal dining hall, where guests dressed as the Vision, Scarlet Witch and other Avengers stand along the wall, while a huge feast is laid out on the long table. The Skull tells his daughter that there is no need to watch with his eyes, when he can experience every bloody blow from Rogue's mind. He remarks that he will savor every shattered bone, and when death occurs, electricity will ripple across the beain and endorphins are released. He tells Sin that it is an exhilarating experience. He boasts that he shall be in Rogue's mind for every life she snuffs, and he will be inside the mind of every Avenger as their heart gives out. 'The human mind wanders to such dark places as the lights dim' the Red Skull adds.
At that moment, Deadpool tries to reach for a bag on the floor nearby, but Rogue slams her fists onto the floor, causing the floor to collapse, and Deadpool falls with some rubble down into the Mansion's library. Rogue drops down through the hole, and as the Red Skull sits at the table, he puts a napkin under his chin and remarks that people fear dying alone – but the Avengers will find a fate far worse than that – dying with him in their heads. He breaks into a lobster claw as Rogue snaps Deadpool's arm. The Red Skull boasts that he can telepathically prolong those painful last moments so death is not a sweet release, but an agonizing march into darkness. Rogue slams her fist into Deadpool's face, while the Skull bites into the lobster and telepathically asks Deadpool if he thinks he cannot die, and while that may be true, it might be that he has just never met someone as motivated as he is. Rogue slams Deadpool's face again, knocking him back to the floor as blood splatters around them. Deadpool's beaten body lays motionless as Deadpool utters 'Why not come downstairs...and so it yourself?' to which the Red Skull dabs his mouth with the napkin and replies 'That's the spirit. Let's see if I can pull that bravado from you before I exterminate the rest of the Avengers!'
Deadpool, Doctor Voodoo, Human Torch II, Quicksilver, Rogue, Synapse, Wasp (all Avengers Unity Squad)
Avengers Mansion guests