Avengers Spotlight #25

(1st story)

In the sewer system beneath the city, Clint “Hawkeye” Barton is on his knees in the murky water, bandages wrapped around his abdomen, while a dozen of his enemies, all super power criminals, gather around him. Crossfire moves towards Hawkeye and tells him that this is it – it is all over. As Mad-Dog, Bobcat, Razor-Fist, the Brothers Grimm, the Bullet Biker and the members of the Death Throws – Bombshell, Knicknack, Oddball, Ringleader and Tenpin – all stand ready for battle, Hawkeye replies 'Over? Really? You're letting me go? That's awful nice of you, Crossfire – we'll have to do it again sometime! Have you girl call mine!' But Crossfire warns Hawkeye not to mock him and points his gun at Hawkeye's head, declaring that he will not be humiliated again – not by Hawkeye, who he considers to be the weakest of the Avenger. 'Resourceful – but still weak' Crossfire adds as he puts the gun right up against Hawkeye's head, explaining that given Hawkeye's weakness, he cannot accept that he has beaten him on two separate occasions.

Crossfire moves back slightly, but still aims the gun at Hawkeye's head as he  explains that after his last defeat, he began arranging this contract from his prison cell, and all criminals from Hawkeye's past were more than willing to participate in his little game – but he needed to see for himself that Hawkeye pay for the humiliation he has brought onto him. 'And pay you will' Crossfire snarls, while Hawkeye goes wide-eyed with the gun pointed right at him – but Crossfire suddenly pulls the gun back and points out that it would be far too easy to take Hawkeye's life, deciding that he must suffer – he wants to weaken Hawkeye further. 'I WANT YOUR ARM!' Crossfire shouts as he places his gun in the holster on his leg. 'You really did put a price on my arm!?' Hawkeye calls out, telling Crossfire that this is the most lame-brained vengeance gimmick he has ever heard of. Hawkeye tells Crossfire that he hates to break it to him, but that it is very unlikely he will survive this armectomy, that he will bleed to death down here.

Crossfire responds by informing Hawkeye that he has taken precautions, and asks if he remembers Dr Steinmetz. The elderly man in a suit joins the group, as Crossfire remarks that Dr Steinmetz was good enough to act as marriage counselor for Hawkeye and his wife, Mockingbird, and that he is multi-talented and is also qualified as an emergency room physician. Crossfire explains that after the offending appendage is removed, Dr Steinmetz will patch him up just enough for him to get to hospital and begin his suffering in earnest. 'I told Mock that a shrink would cost me an arm and a leg! Guess I was half right!' Hawkeye replies. 'Enough talk!' Crossfire shouts, to which one of the Brothers Grimm agrees, and declares that they are anxious to collect the reward. The Bullet Biker boasts that he will make Hawkeye a southpaw before these other clowns even know what happened.

Ringleader tells his teammates to prepare themselves, and Crossfire announces that everyone will have their chance – and reminds them that it is Hawkeye's arm that brings the reward – so if Hawkeye dies, then no one collects. 'BEGIN!' Crossfire shouts, and so the criminals move in closer around Hawkeye, who thinks to himself that there are too many of them, and that he has no chance to beat them all. 'But I will take as many of them with me as I can!' Hakweye decides, pulling an arrow from his quiver, he turns to face Razor-Fist, when suddenly, a strong light shines down on Hawkeye. Hawkeye is confused, before becoming annoyed that not only do the villains have him surrounded, but that they are now attacking from above, too. He tells himself that he can't be distracted by that, and that he must concentrate on the majority of the enemy and wait for whoever is above to come down – and suddenly, a bow falls down in front of him. Hawkeye is even more confused, before Bobbi Morse-Barton a.k.a. Mockingbird drops from where the light is beaming onto Hawkeye and tells her estranged husband that she thought it might come in handy.

'Mockingbird!' Hawkeye utters, when suddenly, on the other side of him lands Trickshot, who tells Hawkeye to pick up the bow – that is, if he still remembers how he taught him to use it. 'Trickshot! I thought you were with them!' Hawkeye remarks to his former mentor. The trio stand their ground as the criminals move in, and Trickshot reminds Hawkeye that it was he who ran out on him before he had a chance to explain the situation to him. Hawkeye asks them how they ever found him, but Bobbi tells him that now isn't the time – as it looks like they are going to be pretty busy. 'Tell me  about it, Mock! I've had just about enough of these clowns!' Hawkeye replies as he fires an arrow into a cream pie that one of the Brothers Grimm was about to throw at him. Mockingbird slams one of her battle staves into Mad-Dog's face, while Trickshot fires an arrow towards the members of the Death Throws, then another, disrupting Bombshell's attack. 'Like I said before, kid, if you'd have stayed with me, you wouldn't be in this jam now!' Trickshot points out, while Bullet Biker is suddenly flung off of his bike when Hawkeye shoves something against the bike's front wheel. 'Okay! Okay! I'm sorry already! But I still want to know how you found me!' Hawkeye replies.

Mockingbird kicks Razor-Fist in his face and tells Hawkeye that it was easy, claiming that she has been one step behind him ever since the Brothers Grimm fairy dust wore off. 'You did leave a pretty obvious trail' Mockingbird adds. Hawkeye fires another arrow as he tells Mockingbird that he lost Trickshot when he came  down here – so there is no way they should have been able to track him down here. As she slams her stave into one of the Brothers Grimm, Mockingbird explains to Hawkeye that his buddy Crossfire helped with that. Trickshot tells Hawkeye that that is what he was trying to explain to him when he took off – that Doctor Steinmetz planted a bug on him when he was in his office. 'So?' Hawkeye asks as he dodges an assortment of rings, balls and other objects that are hurled at him by the Death Throws. 'So – your lovely and talented wife used her SHIELD training to patch into the same frequency they were using to bug the bug! And here we are!' Mockingbird explains as she extends her battle stave and slams it into one of the Death Throws.

'Enough talk! Let's finish off these losers -' Trickshot suggests, before one of the Death Throws hurls a dagger at Trickshot, which strikes his chest and he drops to the murky waters. 'Trickshot's down!' Hawkeye calls out, before telling Mockingbird that they need to finish these guys off. He admits that it is good to have her back at his side again. 'I know what you mean, Hawk' Mockingbird replies, adding that this reminds her a little of when they first met. 'We are good together' she admits as she knocks Bombshell over. Kill them! Finish them!' Crossfire shouts, while Trickshot looks up at Hawkeye and tells him to can the mushy garbage, as he is bleeding to death – and Crossfire is getting away! Hawkeye looks over to where Trickshot is pointing as Crossfire runs down another tunnel. Hawkeye tells Mockingbird that the criminals are all taken care of and asks her if she can take care of Trickshot while he goes after Crossfire. 'Of course I can! Now get going!' Mockingbird replies as she helps Trickshot to sit up.

Hawkeye trudges down the tunnel after Trickshot – after all he has been through he can barely walk, much less run – but he knows he has to bluff his way through. 'Stop right there, Crossfire!' Hawkeye calls out to his enemy, who suddenly spins around and fires a weapon at Hawkeye, although it strikes the wall behind him. 'Don't try and threaten me, archer! I know you're on your last leg!' Trickshot exclaims, adding that he won't be beaten by the weakest hero of them all. 'Me weak? You're the one who couldn't draw my bow – you knocked yourself out with my weapon the first time we fought!' Hawkeye reminds Crossfire, following him to edge of the tunnel which transforms into a waterfall. 'Looks like you've reached the end of the line, Crossfire!' Hawkeye points out. 'Time to  wrap this up -' Hawkeye begins, but as he reaches into his quiver, he discovers that he is out of arrows. 'Well, Hawkeye – it appears that it is you who are at the end of the line. For good!' Crossfire grins, raising his gun – but before he can fire it, Hawkeye hurls his bow at Crossfire, knocking the gun out of his hands.

'I don't need any arrows to beat you, Cross!' Hawkeye exclaims, while Crossfire is also knocked backwards by the impact of the throw, he stumbles over a block, 'I'm falling!' he cries out as he manages to grab onto the block, and calls out to Hawkeye to help him. 'If I save you, Crossfire, will you leave me alone from now on?' Hawkeye asks, standing over Crossfire, who declares that he can't promise that. 'You're right, you can't. It's some sort of convoluted super-villain ethic that makes you keep seeking revenge. All I have to do to be rid of you for good is to do nothing' Hawkeye responds. 'Let you fall?' Hawkeye asks as Crossfire suddenly loses his grip on the block – 'No. That would be the easy way out' Hawkeye remarks as he grabs Crossfire and pulls him back up.

Later, up on the street above the sewer system, abulance officers tend to Hawkeye and Trickshot, while Mockingbird watches as police officers round up Crossfire and the other criminals. Sitting on the back of the ambulance, Hawkeye tells Trickshot that he is the last person he would have expected to help him. 'Hey, kid, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf – don't let it go to yer head' Trickshot responds, before Hawkeye asks him about his illness, reminding him that he was pretty bad last time he saw him. Trickshot reveals that the doctor tells him he is in remission, which is partly the reason for the change of heart. 'I figure you goodies never get sick' Trickshot jokes. 'Must be all that  clean living!'

Trickshot motions towards Mockingbird and tells Hawkeye that if it wasn't for her, Hawkeye would be one dead archer. 'Do yourself a favor and don't ever let her go' Trickshot suggests. 'That's the first good piece of advice you've ever given me!' Hawkeye jokes. Hawkeye then goes over to Mockingbird, 'I've got to tell you something!' he calls out. 'Back down there something happened. I don't want to go into details. But something made me realize what you must have gone through when you faced the Phantom Rider on the cliff-side' Hawkeye explains. Hawkeye adds that he still doesn't know if it was the right thing to do, but that he understands why Mockingbird did it – and he wants her to know that he loves her. With that, they kiss.

(2nd story)

Rick Jones sits at a kitchen table, while reading a newspaper article that discusses how he is going to publish his memoirs. 'And that's just the local paper – the write-up I can get you in Time Magazine will be even better!' a voice exclaims. 'Sign with me, Rick, and you and Betty will be set for life' the voice adds. 'Yeah... right' Rick mutters. 'After all, that is what you want, right?' the voice asks, while Rick wonders why he feels like he is cashing in on the trust of his closest friends. Rick addresses the voice of the red-haired woman sitting next to him, calling her Veronica, he tells her that it is great how she has let him and Betty stay here in her awesome condo while they work this deal out. 'Are you kidding? I should be thanking you, Mr Jones, and I will provided you sign me on as your agent!' Veronica replies. 'I'd love to, Ronnie – it's just after all these years of being number two, this is my first real chance to be number one!' Rick replies.

Veronica affectionately runs a pen along Rick's face, while Rick continues to read the paper, he tells her that he wants to make his decision without letting personal feelings get in the way. 'After last night, do you really think I'd let you down?' Veronica asks. 'Er...no, of course now... but...' Rick replies, turning to Veronica. 'You're cute when you blush!' Veronica  smiles, 'Here's a pen!' she adds. 'And the contract, now...trust me' Veronica smiles as she hands a piece of paper to Rick, who takes the pen and is about to sign the paper, telling Veronica that she is right. 'After all you've done for us...it's the least I could -' he begins, before the door buzzes. Rick gets up and tells Veronica that she had better stay here. Veronica looks unimpressed as Rick crosses the kitchen, he tells Veronica that they wouldn't want to give the milkman a heart attack. Veronica begins tapping her fingers impatiently on the table.

As he reaches the aparment door, Rick finds Betty has already opened it. 'Oh, Betty! Sleep all right?' he asks. 'So-so, Rick' Betty replies, before informing him that this man wants to see him. A man in a trenchcoat and hat extends a hand to Rick, he introduces himself as Kholdsor, and explains that he represents the Skrull Publishing Company, he tells Rick that they want to purchase the intergalactic rights to his book. 'This is a very un-funny joke, fella!' Rick replies. 'On the contrary...I'm quite serious! Here's your contract!' Kholdsor smiles as he holds up a scroll with an alien language scrawled across it. Kholdsor tells Rick that they are preparedto give him the mineral rights and military governorship of four star systems. 'A Skrull with a scroll? Give me a break!' Rick thinks to himself.

'Rick? Who is it?' Veronica asks as she joins the others. 'Just som loon who thinks he's a Skrull' Eick calls back. 'But – but I am a Skrull. I – I -' Kholdsor begins, before he looks shocked when he sees Betty. 'YOU!' he shouts, before suddenly pulling out a weapon and aiming it at Betty. 'What the -' Rick begins, 'I won't let you have it! It's mine, I tell you – MINE!' Kholdsor declares, while Betty gasps in shock. 'Oh, no' Veronica thinks to herself. Suddenly, 'That does it!' Rick calls out as he karate-chops Kholdsor's arm, causing him to drop the weapon. 'If you're a Skrull – why don't you shape-shift into a winged Altarian Ptornithosaur – and fly away!' Rick suggests as he grabs Kholdsor and throws him out the door, slamming it behind him.

'Who did that guy think he was fooling? This discount toy looks nothing like a Skrull blaster!' Rick remarks as he tosses the weapon onto a nearby couch. Veronica puts her hands on her hips and tells Rick to turn off his testosterone, because he and Betty have to pack their bags – they're leaving. 'Aww, c'mon, Ronnie. That was just a nutcase!' Rick smiles, while Veronica waves her hands about and asks Rick how Kholdsor got this address. 'Now move it!' Veronica orders, as Betty walks up stairs, announcing that she has to heed the call of nature. Rick turns to Veronica and suggests she loosen up, supposing that Kholdsor got the address from a reporter. He tells Veronica that she is overanxious and wonders if a breath of fresh air will do her good. He opens a window – and a red-skinned alien with one large eye and two large ears appears. 'Greetings, Earthling. I am a Megan' the alien introduces itself, informing Rick that they wish to possess the secrets in his manuscript. 'In exchange, you can own an entire cache of female slaves, handpicked by -' the Megan begins, before screaming as Rick slams the window down on its hands. 'Forget it!' Rick calls out, before Veronica asks him to get packed.

'I'll get Bett-' Rick begins, before he hears a screaming, annd runs upstairs, calling out to Betty, asking her what is wrong. 'Rick – it – it's the toilet!' Betty gasps as she backs up against the bathroom wall. Rick enters the bathroom, 'The toilet!' he shouts, as he sees a strange blobbish yellow and white alien climbing out of the toilet bowl. The alien tells Rick not to be alarmed, and claims that it comes in peace. 'Who – what are you?' Rick asks. The alien introduces itself as being of the noble telepathic race of Fomal Hauti, before announcing that they wish to obtain the secrets in his manuscript. 'You, too? Listen – get out of my mind, and get out of my plumbing!' Rick exclaims, grabbing a plunger, he holds it up overhead, then slams it down on the lever, which flishes the toilet – and sucks the alien back down into the pipes. Rick and Betty hear a loud crashing noise, and Betty telks Rick that it came from downstairs. 'Do you think it's another one of those creatures?' she asks. 'Nah' Rick replies, not wanting to worry Betty.

Rick then runs down the corridor, telling Betty  that Ronnie is probably just dealing with another would-be agent. 'I'm coming, Ronnie!' he calls out, but when he reaches the stairs, 'Omigosh! What the heck are those things?' Rick wonders when he sees three reptilian-like green aliens who have blasted their way into the apartment. 'The bidding war has begun, earthling!' one of the aliens exclaims. 'But we of the Zn'rx race shall emerge victorious!' another of them boasts as they hold up weapons and look around the apartment. “Snarks?” Rick wonders to himself, before he leaps at one of them, kicking them in the face, 'Hey, gruesome! It ain't polite to point!' Rick calls out. The Snark opens fire, narrowly missing Veronia, who shouts 'Rick – no!' Rick begins to struggle against the Snark, and Veronica realizes that Rick only made the creature angry. She grabs a guitar and runs towards the Snark – to Rick's horror, as he calls out 'Ronnie – stop! Not my Martin Twelve String!' 'But -' Veronica begins to reply, until Rick pleads with her, telling her that the guitar has sentimental value.

Veronica sighs and puts the guitar back down. 'I guess I'll just have to use – this!' she exclaims as she picks up a weapon and fires it towards the Snark's head. Rick gulps, and asks Veronica if that hun is real. 'Sure bet, Sherlock!' Veronica replies, before telling Rick to move his cute little tush, before one of those things blasts it off. A Veronica fires two more blasts at the other Snarks, Rick frees himself, 'Yes, ma'am!' rick jokes, before he punches one of the Snarks in the face and tells Veronica that she is amazing, and that he never thought she would be so cool under fire. Veronica fires another blast and replies 'I...grew up in the service!' The Snarks then run back through the large hole in the apartment wall and flee, 'Excellent – we've got them on the run!' Veronica calls out, adding that next time, the Snarks will think twice about invading her privacy. 'What a fight!' Rick exclaims, before telling Veronica that they make a pretty good team. 'Uh...right' Veronica replies. Rick suggests that they get Betty and then get out of here.

A short time later, Rick, Betty and Veronica have changed and rush out of the apartment, 'Hurry, before something else happens!' Veronica tells them. 'Uh... Ronnie. I think it just did' Rick declares when the trio find themselves surrounded by a strange green light. 'Fantastic!' one of them shouts as they are raised up off the ground by the green energy – towards a huge space ship floating above. Once inside the space ship, Rick, Betty and Veronica are in the middle of a large arena, where thousands of aliens surround them, while their images are projected onto screens so the aliens can see them better. A voice can be heard over a loud speaker, 'Greetings, fellow sentients. I am Beppe III of the R'Malk'I!' Beppe III tells Rick, Betty and Veronica not to be afraid, and informs them that they have been teleported aboard an intergalactic auction cruiser, and that they are here so that the sentient races assembled here can have equal opportunity to bid on the autobiography of Earthman Rick Jones. 'Oh, yeah?' Rick asks.

Rick looks up to a podium, where the asparagus-like alien, Beppe III, sits. 'Well, forget it! I'm through being the prize bull at an auction for bug-eyed monsters! Send us back now!' Rick demands, before threatening to unleash the power he used to dfeated the entire Skrull and Kree armadas. A blue alien with a large head calls out to Beppe, and suggests they reason with the Earthling carefully. Beppe III tells Rick thatb the commiserate with him, adding that the regrettable incidents he refers to were not through fault of his own. Beppe III then explains that this auction was arranged to avoid such anarchy – but that they could not stop certain races from reneging, like the Skrulls, the Megans, the Fomal Hauti, the Zn'rx, and the Kree. Beppe III then points at Veronica and exclaims 'Isn't that not so, Major Vron-Ikka?' This confuses Rick, who turns to Veronica, but she remains silent. Rick turns back to Beppe III: 'Now wait a minute, you overgrown asparagus sprout! You've really gone to seed on that!' Rick asks Veronica to yell him, but Veronica – or rather, Vron-Ikka – clenches a fist and admits that the auctioneer is correct. 'May Ronan fry him...' she mutters.

Beppe III tells Vron-Ikka that she can confer later, and asks for the manuscript so that the auction can begin. Rick holds up his precious guitar and reaches into it, 'All right, you win' he mutters, before pulling his manuscript from the guitar. 'So that's why you didn't want me to use your guitar on the Zn'rx!' Vron-Ikka mutters, hands on hips. Rick tells her that she wouldn't understand, as the Kree never were a musical sort. Beppe III then places the manuscript into a universal translator, so that all present may observe the contents of the salient chapter on the defeat of the Kree and Skrull armadas. On a large screen above them, the manuscript is displayed to all the aliens in an assortment of languages.

Twenty minutes pass, and Beppe III announces that the time is up – the floor is open for bidding. He asks for 40,000 credits, but gets no response, so drops the starting bid to 30,000, and then to 20,000. 'Do I hear an offer? No offer? Is there a some sort of problem?' Beppe III asks. Several aliens utter responses in their natural tongues, and a hairy green alien calls out 'There sure is! Is that it?' while a sluggish alien exclaims 'You gotta be kidding!' and another utters 'No way!' while a fourth wonders if the Earthman is holding back the “juicy parts” for the sequel. 'You mean...my superiors ordered me to debase myself with a – a primate – for this?' Vron-Ikka snaps. Beppe III reports that a quick mind-probe will test the veracity of that accusation, and after conducting the mind-probe of Rick Jones, announces that all is clear – that apparently, Rick Jones put an end to the millennia-long Kree-Skrull War through a fluke – he has no more knowledge than they do on how accomplished it – meaning his memoirs are worthless!

'Worthless? I'll have you know there are plenty of people willing to pay top-dollar for my story back on Earth!' Rick snaps. Beppe III shrugs as he repies 'Of course' before bidding Rick goodbye. Betty turns to Rick and tells him that they need to go home, where he will be appreciated. Rick turns to Veronica and asks her if she is coming with them. 'You poor dear! You still don't understand, do you? You were just a pawn in an intergalactic game of chess' Vron-Ikka declares. She kisses Rick on his head and admits that the experience was more fulfilling in some respects than she ever imagined. 'Yeah? Then why do I feel like a puppy dog?' Rick frowns. 'Farewell, Jones' Vron-Ikka tells him, before Beppe III beams Rick and Betty back down to the apartment. 'Here we go again' Rick mutters, before he and Betty emerge back in the ruined apartment. 'Fantastic! A device like that could make cruising obsolete!' Rick exclaims.

Suddenly, a man in a suit enters the apartment through the gaping hole in the wall and exclaims 'Rick Jones! If you make an appearance like that at your book signings, we'll clean up!' Rick turns to him and identifies the man as his old music agent, Mordecai P Boggs, before asking him what brings him to this neck of the woods. 'Money, m'boy! Money! You didn't sign with that bimbo, did you?' Mordecai exclaims, before reporting that he had Veronica checked out – and she is a fraud. 'But as you know, my contract's good as gold!' Mordecai declares. Rick tells Mordecai to hand him a pen – so long as he isn't a Skrull. 'A what?' Mordecai asks. 'Never mind -' Rick starts to say as he signs the contract, when suddenly, the phone rings. 'Now what?' Rick mutters as he strides over to the phone – but as he picks up the receiver, the phone transforms into a green alien called a Poppupian, who grins and asks 'Am I too late to purchase the movie rights? While Rick just stares at the alien in surprise.